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Post by februaryrose on Nov 10, 2009 22:16:45 GMT -5
Too funny!
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 12, 2009 20:26:25 GMT -5
A guy ran a red light like at 2AM, got home fine, no police saw him or anything like that. About 3 weeks later he gets a bill from the police department and a photo of his truck running that light. So, like the smart/dumbass he is, he gets cute, lays out some money on the bed(the price of the ticket), takes a photo of it, and sends it in. So a few weeks pass and he gets another letter, this one has a photo of handcuffs. He promptly paid the bill.
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Post by ellie88 on Nov 13, 2009 9:55:18 GMT -5
HAHA that was good!
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 15, 2009 15:10:53 GMT -5
Thank You all for reading them. It makes me feel good to know that even if ONE person is touched, feels better, or gets cheered up by reading whatever it is that I post, than i've accomplished something.
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 15, 2009 15:25:22 GMT -5
FRIENDSHIPS COME AND FRIENDSHIPS GO
Friendships come and Friendships go Like wave upon the sand Like day and night Like birds in flight Like snowflakes when they land But you and I are something else Our friendship's here to stay Like weeds and rocks and dirty socks It never goes away!
Author~Unknown
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Post by ellie88 on Nov 15, 2009 22:00:46 GMT -5
That was cute!
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 16, 2009 14:54:17 GMT -5
Feelings
Just as a wave is lifted by the shore, Then breaks across the slowly rising sand, So as I watch you weep my feelings pour Across the wash of what I understand. I wish I could just take you in my arms And all your pain could melt into my chest, And all the violence of passing storms Could pass through me and finally come to rest. No words can set things right or presence lend A miracle to light your darkened way, But there is solace in a loving friend And comfort in what I don't have to say. Whatever circumstance you cannot bear, Just turn to me, and you will find me there
~Obtained from theholidayspot.com~
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Post by sasspot54 on Nov 16, 2009 23:26:08 GMT -5
A guy ran a red light like at 2AM, got home fine, no police saw him or anything like that. About 3 weeks later he gets a bill from the police department and a photo of his truck running that light. So, like the smart/dumbass he is, he gets cute, lays out some money on the bed(the price of the ticket), takes a photo of it, and sends it in. So a few weeks pass and he gets another letter, this one has a photo of handcuffs. He promptly paid the bill. haha!
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Post by sasspot54 on Nov 16, 2009 23:29:53 GMT -5
Sex and the City Quote: “Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer. i LOVE SATC! never missed an episode![/color]
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 19, 2009 13:33:27 GMT -5
Todays Challenge: Perform at least ONE random act of kindness. If you're successful tell us about it Hugs, Summer
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 23, 2009 22:27:47 GMT -5
Ok, after many days of slacking. Dealing with sick kids, sick self (still) parents leaving for vacation. etc etc.... hope the chuckle from this makes up for at least something! xoxo Thanksgiving travel tips: The Thanksgiving holiday is the peak travel weekend of the year (in America. The rest of the world could give a rat’s ass about Thanksgiving.) So as a public service, here are some travel tips: Leave for the airport NOW. Especially if your flight is on Wednesday. Bring no luggage. Wearing the same clothes for a week is a small price to pay. Southwest has no reserved seating. Get in one of the latter groups boarding. You don’t want to be one of the first to sit then watch as fifty people glance at the empty seat next to you, then to you, and decide to sit somewhere else. If you have children under the age of five tell your relatives one has an ear ache and make everyone come to YOU. Those people in the Stand-By line – those are the same people who think they can get rich selling Amway products, and the Tooth Fairy really exists. Don’t fly Stand-By unless you like sleeping in airport terminals for five days. If you rent from Hertz plan on a two hour wait just to get your car. Unless you’re one of their “preferred” customers in which case allow only one hour. When rental car companies recommend you use premium gasoline put in regular. It’s cheaper, it’ll run just fine, and it’s not your car. Before you pull off the road to a Chuck E. Cheese for lunch, remember their namesake is a rat. Three words of advice if you’re driving a long distance: XM satellite radio. Especially if you’re crossing Texas and want to listen to Air America. Air travelers: avoid O’Hare. Better to land in Dallas, even if your destination is Chicago. If you’re dropping someone off at the airport don’t even think you’ll be able to stop. Have your travelers practice the tuck and roll from a moving car. The first couple of times they’ll bounce but by the fourth or fifth try they should have it down. Watch the DVD of HOSTEL on your laptop. The bigger the screen, the better. There’s more legroom in Exit rows. When the flight attendants ask if you are willing to help out in case of emergency just say yes. Like it’s going to make a big difference anyway if you crash. There are NO bargains in the Sky Mall magazine. When you’re stuck in St. Louis and all flights are grounded (and trust me, you WILL be), grab lunch at Mike Shannon’s. If you’re flying on an airline that doesn’t have reserved seating never sit next to anyone whose already eating or reading Ann Coulter. Before you fly to New York and have to negotiate JFK just remember – the parade is on TV. And it’s the same balloons as last year. The only difference is that the stars of NBC’s big new hit from last year, COMMITTED won’t be there. Never pay to see an in-flight movie starring Debra Messing. Put a big strip of duct tape on your luggage so you’ll recognize it easily. And it makes a nice fashion statement. If you’re flying with small children see if there’s such a thing as “Flintstones Valium”. In-flight alcoholic beverages are expensive. Better to drink heavily at the airport before boarding. And finally, watch PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES again and think of it as a “best” case scenario. Happy trails to you all. BY KEN LEVINE HOPE EVERYONE HAS VERY SAFE HOLIDAY TRAVELS
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Post by ellie88 on Nov 23, 2009 22:56:06 GMT -5
HAHA those were good. I loved the one with the tuck and roll and practicing! Thankfully for me, I'm not doing any traveling so I won't be a part of the madness and insanity!
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 25, 2009 17:14:33 GMT -5
Thanksgiving humor The man who forgot to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving: It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. 'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.' 'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. 'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man. 'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!' The Turkey, the Parrot and the In-laws: Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus cussed something awful. Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear. Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cussed terribly, so Martha but him in the freezer for 2 minutes to literally cool off. Then she opened the door and took out the parrot along with the turkey. 'And have you learned your lesson about cussing?' Martha asked the parrot. Brutus the parrot took one look at the dead turkey and said: 'I sure have. But I have one I have a question, "What did the turkey do?" ' Thanksgiving Divorce: Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorce. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister. When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.' Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up. The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.' Hope you had a good chuckle. All obtained from www.guy-sports.comHave a Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hugs, Summer
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Post by ellie88 on Nov 25, 2009 19:36:25 GMT -5
HAHA..that last one would be something my dad would say!
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Post by summerfabulous on Nov 26, 2009 18:58:31 GMT -5
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A turkey!
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What did the Turkey say before it was roasted? Boy, I'm stuffed!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of foul play!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. A building can't jump at all!
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The TurKey!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I’ll let you know next week!
Why did the turkey play drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? “Quack, quack, quack!”
What’s blue and covered with feathers? A turkey holding its breath!
How do you send a turkey through the mail? Bird class mail!
Why didn’t the turkey eat dessert? He was already stuffed!
What do you get it you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving!
What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called? Turkey feathers!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To try to hatchet!
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
If the Pilgrims were alive today what would they be most famous for? Their age!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving? Because they couldn’t fit the moose in the oven!
When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand? On their feet!
When did the Pilgrims first say “God bless America”? When they first heard America sneeze!
Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving? Because everything is marked down after the holidays!
Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it!
What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!
Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner? No, you should just have the turkey!
What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose!
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter G!
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary!
Hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday! Hugs, Summer
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